I've been water boarded.

So today was Bikram Yoga Day 4! Note to self: do not eat pizza on a yoga day. Just don't.

Things went pretty good for the first half of the class...made it through the standing series with only a few eensy weeny breaks. At one point, there was so much sweat pouring off my face, that it went up into my nose during one of the forward bends...since my mind wonders in yoga (because I am a bad yogi), I couldn't help but think of water boarding and other various forms of torture. Torture not unlike what I was, myself, enduring.

But, of course, it is a torture that is self-induced, so I must suck it up and venture on. And venture on I did. But by minute 55 I am wanting to flee. Desperately. I am thinking up strategies to make the last 35 minutes of class go by more quickly. None of them work.

At minute 60, a guy in the corner leaves. I am overwhelmingly grateful for the rush of cool air that sweeps over my body as he opens and closes the door. These small kisses of breathable air are what keep me from vomiting on my Yogitoes/Manduka combo. Secretly I think, "what a wuss."

At minute 65, we lose another one. The teacher asks the student if she can just lie in Savasana, which is answered by a curt "no" and a hasty exit. I once again await the wash of air. Aaaah...at the rate we're going, I might just make it through. After the back bending series, I try to get back into the swing of things, but any posture that compresses my belly brings the nausea back...what the eff is up with Bikram and all this organ massaging? Gah. Slow breath. Deep breath. Bikram obviously did not eat leftover pizza on yoga days. Bikram is obviously smarter than I am. Or maybe they don't eat pizza in India? Not sure if I could eat Indian food on yoga days, either.

I do my best to not stare at the clock as I silently curse Round Table and secretly wish for more students to leave the room. By minute 80, I am home free...just a couple more postures and then I can breathe again, can move again without feeling nauseous, can stand up without seeing spots. Granted, I sat out for most of the floor series, but at least I didn't vomit...and I didn't leave the room.

And yes, I will try again tomorrow.